As an advocate/expert (former IT consultant and software engineer) who is also a survivor of cyber-stalking, my advice to victims is as follows:
- Remember that you are not alone and are not weak for feeling scared or uncomfortable because of obsessive or harassing online behavior
- Trust your instincts when you feel that someone is being abusive and obsessive. Don’t dismiss your gut feeling.
- Feel free to make it clear to anyone stalking or harassing you that you feel uncomfortable with his/her behavior and want to be left alone; Feel free to be RUDE!!
- If things escalate, send a written e-mail or letter (non-emotional and non-blaming) asking the person to leave you alone
- If things escalate online and/or by phone, document evidence and dates of occurrence of criminal activities – create a timeline and paper trail.
- Keep or subpoena phone records
- Print or take screenshots of online activity
- File a police report, even in cases of anonymous online harassment – it is your RIGHT!
- Go in person to the precinct and demand (nicely) to file a report
- Take the evidence with you (see #4)
- Do not retaliate against your stalker/harasser; have “clean hands”
- Beware of conversations with mutual friends; Stalkers and harassers generally use them to obtain information about you
- Hire a lawyer, but only one that a) is a litigator and b) specialized in domestic violence and orders of protection
- Do not hire a lawyer who is NOT a litigator
- Do hire someone who specialized in criminal and/or family law
- Seek counseling to support you through the process
- Cyber harassment is a psychologically damaging crime
- Know your legal rights always!!
- Even if you have a lawyer or the police involved in your situation, you are your own best advocate and know your case better than anyone
The Other Side of the Rainbow... 